The 90 day experiment
Whenever I’m in a season of transition, after the restlessness kicks in, I like to do an experiment.
Sometimes it takes me quite a while to figure out what it is that I want. And usually when I do, it comes with an onslaught of doubt, fear, anxiety, and questions about the practicality of it all. In 2018, I was traveling the world and running my own law firm. And it was a great learning experience, but I knew deep, deep down it’s not something I wanted to do long-term, or even short-term if I was being completely honest. And so, I made the decision to walk away from my law firm. Yes, it was making me money (that I wasn’t managing well at all), yes my brand was taking off, and yes, I was still deeply unsatisfied. To be quite honest, it vaguely reminds me of where I am now and it’s a cycle I’m determined to break.
I remember being in my Airbnb in Prague, frustrated with my finances and career, begging God to help me, and I came up with the 30 day experiment. I would ease all doubts for 30 days. On day 31, I could worry all I wanted to. But for 30 days I would be determined to believe that it would all work out for me. As an act of faith and to signal the beginning of the experiment, I asked myself what I wanted in that moment. And I wanted a new pair of pajamas. Something about a cute matching pajama set felt like luxury to me. And so this was going to be my act of faith, that something was going to work out. And I searched for my debit card at the bottom of my bag, and what I found first was a forgotten, unused Amazon card. And with that exact amount, I purchased a cute new pajama set. For 30 days I locked in, and I had the biggest sales + cash month in the history of my law firm.
And now, similarly it’s time to lock in. I know that I’ve wanted to write full-time for my whole life. And my whole life I gave myself excuses. I tucked that dream far away in the recesses of my mind. I would remember it and then shy away from it, typically using money as an excuse. And thankfully, I had a whole creative reawakening (this could link to another blog post) last year, that led me to writing and other new hobbies. I sat in a coffee shop, writing a short story for a class I was in and almost started crying. I didn’t know anything on Earth could make me feel this way. I was imagining, putting sentences together, writing dialogue, and on the verge of tears at how happy it made me.
And so, I’m taking the next 90 days to lock in on my writing goals.
- I’ll start my blog and take it seriously.
- I’ll write as much as I can- I’ll go to free writing groups. I’ll apply for writing residencies. I’ll do my morning pages. I’ll take another writing class.
- I’ll start pitching places to write
(I’ll report back in 90 days!)